And so, Kwanzaa Begins: The Very Late Story

Okay peeps. So, does any one know anything about Kwanzaa? I personally don't, so I took the liberty of looking it up on Wikipedia.

Kwanzaa is on the 26th, so I'm a little late with the article. Whatev.

Anyway, Kwanzaa is an American holiday that lasts for seven days. This holiday is fairly new, as it was just created in 1996. Although it is American it is traditionally celebrated specifically by African-Americans. Kwanzaa is actually kind of like Hanukkah in that you light candles and everyone receives gifts, not just the children. However, for this holiday you light only seven candles. Three of them are red, three green, and one black. These are called kinara candles. Each candle represents a principle.

The seven principles are:
Umoja (Unity)
Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)
Ujima (Collective work and Responsibility)
Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics)
Nia (Purpose)
Kuumba (Creativity)
Imani (Faith)

Just a little note: if you take one 'A' off of Kwanzaa and Wiki it, you will end up on an article about Angolan currency. Funny,huh?

All credit goes to Wikipedia.

Bob wrote a newspaper!...................................

Bob ran into me at tops and i told him about this blog. he asked me to put his newspaper on this blog once a week. so here it is.

THE BOB FILES

(NO IT'S NOT THE BLOG)

PURPLE GIRAFFES

75 Joes went crazy obsessed with pink polka dotted Easter eggs on a lazy Sunday at 2:28 am, in a random park in upstate Ohio.purple giraffes!

WATER

Fire! Boom! " ouch my butt," screamed sylveter smith the 800th. he needs water.

Moose cheese

PIG, ALEX, SNAKE, SANTA HAT, AMERICAN EAGLE, SHOES OF SHAME, LOSER HAT,AIR MAIL IN KENTUCKY, AND AEROPOSTALE ATE A HUGE PIE. THE PIE CONTAINED MILK, COOKIES, MICE INTESTINES, HAIR, AND MOOSE CHEESE! YUCK!!!!!!

The Follower

One day Bob the Hobo was walking down the road. It was a normal day for him, but little did he know that today would change the world as he knew it forever. You wanna find out how? Read on.

As Bob strutted obliviously down the road, a small, mischevious looking child poked his head out from behind a building. He smirked to himself as he launched the water balloon at the weird old guy on the street. The child laughed out loud as the balloon connected.

Bob spun around. What was this strange liquid soaking down his back? You see, Bob had never had a shower, or gone swimming, or anything. He didn't know what water was!

The old hobo looked around wildly. He had to find out what was going on! In the name of the Petunias, he would uncover the truth!

Meanwhile the child sniggered.

However, he recieved the shock of his young life when Bob grabbed him by the scruff if his neck and hoisted him into the air. "Now say, young whippersnapper," Bob scowled at him.

The kid looked at Bob in wonder. He had never heard anyone use the word "Whippersnapper" before! Thanks to that one word, Bob was now his hero.

"Hey, old man," he said. Bob blinked.

"Yes?"

This strange child then proceded to ask Bob what his name was. Bob had never been asked that before. Beaming, he told the boy his name was Bob.

"Cool!" the kid said. "My name is Joe. So now, in honor of your awesomeness, I will call myself Bobby Joe."

The gleeful Bobby Joe ran off, leaving Bob content and confused.

Now, you may wonder how this changed the world. Well, here it is.

Recently Bob Joe tried to run for President od the US. However, he lost to the Democrats. You may even know who Babby Joe is- under a different name of course. I'll give you a hint: He is old, balding and ran with a very annoying woman who's name starts with an S. Anyway, he decided to run for Pres to honor bob the Hobo with a national holiday. So now he will not rest until he succeeds. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

bob eats his first m&m ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg so i researched more on bob the hobo after the recent discovery of his bday. I WANTED TO FIGURE OUT IF BOB THE HOBO HAD A FAVORITE CANDY AND IF YES... WHAT? SO BOB SAW A FLYER FOR M&M'S STUDY AND DROVE HIS FIRE TRUCK TO ANONYMOUS TOWN, WHERE I LIVE. HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT AN M&M WAS! I GAVE HIM THREE OBJECTS.

1. AN M&M


2. A PAIR OF HEADPHONES


3. AND SOME SNOW

I TOLD HIM AN M&M WAS SOMETHING TO EAT!

of course he tried to bite the headphones, i screamed NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then i shoved the m&m in his mouth and he ran away singing, " choc---------------------olatay oh i love the sugary sweetness where in every bar there is sugar ( shoog- are ) and you might get and you might get a tiny cavitay!" to the tune of oklahoma ok ! what i forgot to check in my reseach was bobs allegeries or eating problems.......................... turns out he cant have chocalate unless he wants to hit people that dont give him chocolate with metal poles for at least the next month. so yeah from one m&m bob will surely be crazy for a month and 3 days so BEWARE BOB THE HOBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob the Motivational Poster

Recently Bob the Hobo took up a side job as a model for motivational posters. I myself saw one of these posters; Bob looks great for a man of 56. Especially when you consider his hobo-hood.

Although Bob is fantastic at his job, he is working for minimum wage... of 1960. So, he is being paid $1.00 an hour. And I used to wonder how modeling companies made money. I HAVE ALL THEIR SECRETS! I WILL SUCCEED AT LIFE! MWUAHAHAHA!

Continuing... Anyway, my message here is: if you ever drop out of school and become a hobo, you can ALWAYS become a model. It's not like they expect models to be smart, after all. Oh, and keep an eye out for any posters of Bob.

Bob the Hobo's BIrthday

Guess what?!?? After years of dedicated research, we (as in us 4 contributers) have finally unearthed Bob the Hobo's birthday! And, as you guessed, it's today. So, today, wish Bob a happy 56th birthday. Since Bob's depression of Johnny Appleseed, this is sure to cheer him up.

Hobo on the Street here. Make sure to donate 56 candles to your local hobo shelter. It can be your good deed of the month.

So, if you call 555-2552 and wish Bob a happy 56th birthday, Santa Clause is certain to bless your house/chimney. Thanks for your contributions and consideration.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUU!! BIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUU!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAARRR BOOOOBBB, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUUU!!!!!! ARE YOU ONE, ARE YOU TWO, (ETC) ARE YOU 56?? and you know the rest.

Some Things You Should Know

OK, so just to let all you awesome followers know, there are some notes on the sidebar. There is a column about Bob's main facts to help you understand, and because there is more than one author, also to help us not redo things and make them different. Below that is a poll asking if you pity Bob the Hobo. It is open for a very, very long time, so no pressure. Please vote! Then, there is something :)!26!:) wrote about: her other blog.

Oh, and please forgive and notify us about any mistakes in spelling, grammer, punctuation, capitalization, or anything else. Thank you for your patience and consideration.

BTW, sorry that I sound like a bathroom note by the manager/staff. For all you know, I am bathroom staff.

A FIRETRUCK STORY PART TWO

if ur a new reader this wont make since so u will have to go back quite a few posts.
but anyways...........................

i felt really bad for bob so i drove to dryden and searched for a puple firetruck........................ i did not find him. then over thanksgiving i was in new york and he was there on vacation . he broght his "house" on top of his firetruck so i walked up to him. and with a fifty foot pole and a megaphone a tapped him on the shoulder and yelled you have a firetruck...........sleep in it! he acctually listend so now bob sleeps in his puple sparkly fire truck in dryden................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. ok dryden is a real town but....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... bob the hobo is simply a made up charectar that my awesome friends made up in 5th grade.

Johnny Appleseed

Bob the Hobo does not know how to read, which is why he had to take reading lessons when he found a book lying on the street. Of course, he failed miserably. So, lets just agrees that he DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO READ AND WILL NEVER LEARN HOW TO READ! OK, so when he found the book, he was really interested. He had never seen anything so... weird! And he wanted to read it. He went house to house to see if anyone would read it to him. Obviously, know one would. I mean, if a weird hobo showed up at your door and asked you to read him a book, would you??? Probably not, unless you were a little weird upstairs. Anyway, finally he found that person who was weird upstairs, a little old granny with white hair up in a bun. Stereotypical, yes, but it does happen. She was a widow, and was lonely, so she was just happy and offered to read the book because she wanted company. The book was about Johnny Appleseed. Bob became soooo absorbed he actually listened to the whole thing without doing something Bob the Hobo-like. After the granny was done, (Miss Molasses was her name, or at least that was what Bob heard), Bob thanked her and left very fast. The poor Miss Molasses was very sad to see him go, but at least he had left her the interesting book about Johnny Appleseed. Besides, he might come back another time. Anyhow, Bob now saw Johnny as a role model, and wanted to be just like him. So, the next time he got a strawberry, he picked out all the little seeds in on the outside. He did that with, say, the next 23 strawberries he got. He probably ended up with... a LOT of seeds. You cannot make me do the math. I guesstimate, though, about 1,649 seeds. As you have guessed, he wanted to be Bobby Strawberry(seed??). Ha ha. So he went around digging up holes in peoples yards and burying one seed in each hole. People yelled at him for making holes in their yards, but he knew he was doing a good deed, so he just ignored them. But the strawberry bushes (trees??) didn't grow!!! HE got all mad and threw the rest of his seeds at the next person he saw. Then, he went and dug up all the places where he had buried the strawberry seeds. Then he went home and cried his eyes out. Poor, poor, Bob. If YOU want to make him feel better, call 555-2552 to tell him... whatever you wanna tell him to make him feel better!

abbY!!

ps any number that starts with 555 is a fake number.

What Bob did on Black Friday

Humming to himself, Bob skipped down the aisle of his local Wal-mart. Today was such a joyous day! He still had some turkey left over from the National Hobo Turkey Dinner yesterday, and lots of normal people were out at the mall for some reason.

Bob leaned over to inspect a price tag. WOW! His eyes bugged out. This price was... RIDICULOUS! What was wrong with America that they would buy  a Barbie doll for TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS! Bob pursed his lips, attempting to think hard about this problem. Slowly, the answer dawned on him.

What did all little girls do as a rite of passage as they became teenagers? Why, chop up their dolls of course. And to do that they would need a doll.

Bob beamed. Of course! He felt so proud of himself for delving into the deep, twisted pit of the female psyche. He had done what no man had done before.

Bob felt so proud of himself that he waltzed up to the bored, teenage clerk and asked if he could have a Barbie doll, no charge. He was rewarded with a sorta scared look from the clerk. As he was pondering what the clerk was trying to do, the tough, skinny, vegan security guards grabbed him from behind and kicked him out the door.

Bob was so sad, he broke down crying in front of the store. He was that places's karma: people were so freaked out by the sight of him that they gave Wal-Mart a twenty foot berth. The store went out of business soon after; no one would touch the place with a fifty foot pole, even if you had payed them (which, coincidentally, they eventually tried to do).

So in the end, Bob the Hobo won. He had ruined Black Friday for the populace.

And Bob saw what he had done and was Proud.

Bob, you mean so much more to us than we tell you.

Dear blog reader,
If you haven't noticed, this blog is not only about Bob, but about our lives. Besides writing (well...typing) about Bob and his (mis)adventures, we also express our (inquisitive, intelligent minds through a dry sense of humor. No, just kidding. We are not teddy bears, no matter what you think. Though they may have rubbed off on us just a little.) life and feelings THROUGH Bob. We can ask him to do anything for us. note: we do not use IMPERIO!well, nevermind. We can have him, say, insult someone we privately hate...you get the picture.

Conclusion: We manipulate Bob for our own uses.

And so: Bob sees New Moon

As he has been living under a rock, Bob, out of sheer curiosity, decided to see New Moon. (he managed to con a ticket out of the ticket master.) He kept asking questions to the teenage girls sitting behind him, and was eventually kicked out by an usher.

New Moon is out! Success!

OK, so any of you readers who are teenage and female (or even if you're a guy) know what New Moon is. If you don't, then you have, quite clearly, been living under a rock- no offence intended.

But back to the original rant.

Anyway, I just saw New Moon (plot spoiler alert!!!!) today with a couple of my friends. Totally, totally, incredibly better than Twilight which, like, sucked majorly because of its total lack of a budget. With its sparkly budget, New Moon has founding for a lot of special effects and it uses that fact. Special effects are everywhere and some of them are, in fact, largely useless.

The movie is also two and a half hours long, which is kind of annoying when you consider the fact that, hey, Edward is gone for most of the movie, so that must mean its mostly Bella-Jacob bonding time. While I appreciate that they put in some effort in developing a relationship, I still don't want to spend that long hearing about it.

As a side note: is it just me or are the actors' eyebrows strangely over-accentuated? Because I know I was staring at Edward and Bella's eyebrows during a couple of scenes instead of actually watching the movie.

Plus, the end is KILLER. I CAN'T WAIT FOR ECLIPSE!!!!!!! God, I'm going to start counting the days until it comes out!

As Thanksgiving Comes Up..

A note on the holiday feeling.

As the holiday of sharing comes up, and we begin to see the edges of the wonderful winter holidays, I find myself reflecting on how those holidays began. Did those kind, good Samaritan Native Americans know that every kind thing that they did for the hapless settlers would be recorded and celebrated years later? Of course, their bravery in the face of the Pale-Faces is admirable.

And, um, correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't those very settlers the same ones to bring diseases that killed off huge amounts of helpless Natives? This just goes to show me that we only remember the stuff that promotes a good, patriotic feeling.

Although, really, I guess I don't have a problem with that. I just dislike having to continue that patriotic, we're-all-a-family feeling and go down to visit the family every holiday.

A word to the wise, from the wise: expect one of these rants at pretty much any family oriented holiday- I hate road trips.

What REALLY Goes On At Our Workplace

If you have a thing called curiosity you may be wondering what on Earth we do as a job that could cause us to crank out such weird stuff. Well, here it is.

We work at a deadly secret facility where we make a synthetic creation known as "Teddy Bears." The Teddies have intelligent, inquisitive minds; they epress this through their very dry sense of humor. In fact, the other day one of them asked me to relay this message to the world: We are the clones of high-ranking officials. With the power of our amazing brains and the prestige our forms give us, WE WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD. MWUAHAHAHA.

If this actually worries you government types, don't worry, they were joking... as far as you know...

One day we accidentally inhaled ammonium hydroxide, and the fumes made eveyone feel rather funny. Much, much later it started showing when we threw a party for Teddy Bush, who had died that day. Sadly, no one much liked Teddy Bush, because of his namesake. Still, the party was great and I got to meet some of my more eccentric coworkers.

And, because this is a story about how this blog started, we, the eccentrics, banded together and formed the great Bob Files! In fact, you could almost say that some of these stories are about a Teddy Bob. But don't tell any of my co-writers that...

And that is the story!

Major Depressive Disorder

Very recently Bob has been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (btw :)!26!:), that's why he gets depressed a lot.) Poverty is often associated with major depressive disorder, so that's most likely how he developed it. Up to 60% of the people who commit suicide have a depressive disorder or another mood disorder, so evidently Lucy had it too. (major depressive disorder also is associated with stress and vulnerability, more proof that Lucy had it.)

Kudos to Wikipedia!

Bob and the once oh so beautiful scooter

Bob was feeling rather normal on that fateful day in the full heat of summer. The sun was unconquerable as it menacingly rose up into the sky.
I want some lemonade, Bob thought dully. He was standing in front of his "house" and staring blankly into the one sickly tree overhead. He hadn't had lemonade since....a long time ago.
As he stared into the tree, he started feeling the heat from that darnded invincible sun creeping closer to him. Squinting, he pondered about sneaking into the nearest Walmart (they always had the most AC) and haggling a lemonade bottle out of them. Aw, he wearily thought, 'sway too much trouble to think about such things. With a start, he realized his eyes had led him to something in the tree - a tantalizing glint of metal, flashing in the sun. Curiosity held him, and with a grunt he pulled himself into the tree (which shook under a combination of Bob's weight and malnutrition). Determination alight in his eyes, Bob slowly scaled the tree. He was at the object! It was a scooter, the kind you see little kids zooming around with, and it was ultra shiny and brand new. He shrieked with glee and lunged for it, losing his balance and plunging with it down onto his house. The house collapsed, but in his hurry, Bob didn't notice. He awkwardly got on it and started to ride. That was were the awkwardness stopped. With a grace never seen to people like him before, he rode off into the wild world and didn't look back.

Bob's Sister, his step dad Joe and his great mama

Ok, so im supposed to write a post.... hmmmm...... any suggestions? How 'bout Bob's sister? Sound good?

Ok, here we go:

Bob's sister wasn't really his sister, she was his step-sissy. From which side, you ask? His mom's side. You see, before Bob's mama was married to Bob's pappy (ha ha) she was married to this hot dude called..(hmmmm)... Joe. Now Joe was pretty good lookin' and was really funny (remind u of anyone?...), had all the *good genes.. (*hoboonthestreet*!!) and like i said, he was hot. Anyway, Joe and Bob's mama (what her name??) had a daughter named.. HOLY CRAP ITS FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!! OK, sorry, their daughter was named... hey I'm makin' this up as i go along.. one sec lemme think... named Lucy!! Yeah, that's good. So her name was Lucy and she was smart, good looking, funny, had all the *good genes (like her dad, Joe), and did I mention she was majorly cool and popular at school. Anyway, she was. (notice how I say was.) So then her mommy and *Joe got in a HUGE fight and got divorced. As you know, Lucy went with her mom 'cause ins't that how things work?? A little after that Joe died in a shopping mall in Target in the shoe (sorry I felt that shoes need to be there somewhere) section right by a size 8 high top converse shoe. And guess who was at the scene of the crime? No, not Bob u jerk, he isn't even alive yet!! Bob's daddy. As u can guess , bob's dad probably did that. (From earlier posts u should know that he is a crimanal.) Anyway, after that Bob's mom married Bob's dad (do NOT ask why she thought he would make a good husband, she was probably under a lot of stress). So they got married, blah, blah, blah, and had Bob. So now we got Bob an his sister, Lucy. But as you know from earlier posts, (yes, sadly, i do check up on my history) Bob's mom... Hey!! She wasn't named in that other post! HA!! I will call her.....*Vanessa! *hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! OK, so Vanessa died when her son, Bob, was very young. And so now, since Lucy's dad was dead, she was living with Bob's dad, (Lucy's step-dad), the messed up and only a little bit (OK, a lot), psychic guy who killed Joe. Ouch. As you can guess Lucy went from mega popular to a nobody. Her grades were going down. She went from a A+ dtudent to a C student to a D- student. Bob was adding to her stress and so was Bob's dad. (apparently his name and age are unknown, according to the writer of another post 'bout Bob's great papa, (OK, not that great). Aww... I wanted to name him Fred the Geeky Little Ant. boohoo!! So,anyway, Lucy was trying to commit suicide. emphasis on the trying. She was hanging herself over a lake with evil little fishies (piranahs??) and was about to slit her own throat with the knife in her hand. Then instead of slitting her throat, she accidently cut the rope instead, (great aim, huh!), and landed in the water. A kind fisherman picked her up and she went to the hospital. She died of hypothermia 3.2 days later. Well, what a sad, sad, story.

Anyway, i think that pretty much covers it. Oh, yeah........... *if a word is bold with a little star next to it (*) than that means its an inside joke.

so..... what was I going to say???..............oh!! wait..... ...... !!! OK, so there are, like probably a lot of spelling errors and somtimes proper nouns aren't capitalized and comas (,) and a appostifies (spelling??) (') might not always be there. and maybe a couple u intead of you and stuff. I am not the type of person to chech over my work. (fine, i did a little!) anyway, hoped u like that little tale and all the others by different people. This post was my 1st btw.

abbY

ps if u read tell all ur friends about it and email ur friends the site and stuff (http://www.hoboscandoit.blogspot.com/)

ok.....

pps if u go to dewitt school, great 4 u and if u dont no wat im talkin bout whatev.

TELL PEOPLE BOUT THIS SITE!!! WE WANT FOLLOWERS!!!!
thx

bob got a new type of pet............ a pet acorn!

a pet acorn named joe showed up at bob's "door" and they instantly became friends . bob warned him about past his expieriences with pets and joe said " those were rocks " and sure enough so far joe is just fine.

sammy

over the years bob had many pet rocks : Alfred, Joe, Sylvia, mark, Alyssa, Alisa, Elise, tom, Jennifer, sparky, Fido, James, ruby, Ruth, Emma, Andy, Sofie, Taylor ( boy), Taylor ( girl), Sarah, Josie, Zoe, Zoe, rock, no name, wet rock, dry rock, Fred, bob Jr., Ellen, Hannah, and many more. two years ago a rock named Louise died like many before her ( all before her ) and bob gave up on his wonderful pets. very recently bob found an abandoned rock named Sammy in one of the houses he accidentally walked into and took it with him. oops!!!! bob got mad at himself and threw Sammy in the closet of his "house" then cried him self to sleep. Sammy didn't take the fall to well..................... that's how Sammy died. :(

bob got that water proof spray and guess what!?!?

so as it says in the title bob the hobo got water proof spray for his tower of cardboard boxes ( from his 50 bucks earned at burger king which he spent on food, water proof spray, and a mini skirt..............bob"s very weird).......................... and guess what !?!? iT ONLY WORKS FOR ONE RAINFALL( which wears it off) ! poor bob :(:(:( and ):):):

Modern Art : the new and improved art of house building

Ever wondered how Bob survived all these years in soggy cardboard? Well, here's that story.

Bob was wandering around Home Depot in the beginning of his hobo career when he found the item that saved his life: a pamphlet. It would be a potential money maker (that is, until he mentioned the fact that he was a hobo to the manager of Burger King.), his only belonging, a matter of priceless sentimental value. All this he did not know, however, when he first saw it at Home Depot. It caught his attention because it was bright, obnoxious red with a hideous floral pattern. Unfortunately, he was illiterate, so he had to go to his father (who was starting his jail sentence at this point) to get the pamphlet decoded. Bob wheedled the pamphlet's contents out of his father, but not without constant screaming and tantrums. 

Bob, with an uncanny memory, managed to build his first cardboard house. It was a little unstable and drafty, but he was immensely proud. Later he would realize that the waterproof sealing spray recommended in the pamphlet would have been helpful, but he didn't have the money to buy it. This was the reason he constantly was building a house.

So, thank Bob's dad for everything that Bob has to live for.

A Report On What YOU Eat

Yo peeps.
Here is a neeewww POST!!! Voila!

The Thoughts Behind The Grill- The People Flipping the Burgers

Have you ever wondered what fast food workers are thinking? Here's your chance to find out.

I gave a sad, sorry sigh and handed the impatient, pudgy man a greaseburger. I am one of the poor, wretched people who work at fast food joints around the world, and exist with only the hope that one day the customers will pick up on my depressed mood and quit coming here.

Looking up at the clock, I rolled my eyes. It was time for the Shift of Doom: cooking the greaseburgers. I marched into the grilling room, mock-goose marching for my own entertainment. Bored as heck, I dumped five greaseburgers on the grill, poking them with a spatula and considering spitting on them. As proof of my angelicalness, I didn't.

Five minutes later a strange smell wafted past my nose. Gagging, I turned from my observation of the floor back to the grill. The greaseburgers were charred beyond recognition. I exhaled sharply, utterly and totally exasperated as, to add to that problem, a strange feeling fell over me. I recognized it quickly; I was immensly, enormously hungery. As if controled by some great, supernatural force, I felt my hand reaching out to the greaseburgers, pulled by hunger.

It all happened so fast I barely even knew what happened. Seconds later, all five greaseburgers were in my stomach. Or at least, I thought they were. One small chunk was caught in my throat. An awful retching sound came out of me. I was being choked to death by a greaseburger!

I only hoped when management came in in the morning they felt bad about what they had caused... Or else...

Written by Hobo on the Street with the help of Automatic Delivery Subsystem

A FIRE TRUCK STORY

BOB THE HOBO RECENTLY FOUND A PURPLE FIRE SPARKLY FIRE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THAT HAD A SIGN ON IT THAT SAID, " IF YOUR NAME IS BOB THIS FIRETRUCK IS YOURS," IT ALSO HAD A KEY ON IT. BOB GLADLY PICKED UP THE KEY AND DROVE TO A BURGER KING IN MONTANA WHERE HE GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN THE OWNER OF BURGER KING FOUND OUT ( HE WAS THE ONE THAT REJECTED BOB SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE HE WAS A DIRTY , NOT SMART, AND ANNOYING HOBO) AND KICKED BOB AND HIS FIRETRUCK ALL THE WAY BACK TO HIS LARGE HOUSE OF CARDBOARD BOXES ON THE BORDER OF A SMALL TOWN CALLED DRYDEN. BUT HE STILL HAS HIS FIRE TRUCK AND WITH THAT HE DRIVES TO RECYCLING PLACES ALL OVER AMERICA TO BEG FOR CARDBOARD BOXES WITH WHICH ADDS TO HIS HOUSE ( HE NEEDS A LOT OF CARDBOARD BECAUSE IT GET SOGGY AND FALLS DOWN A LOT). PURPLE SPARKLY FIRE TRUCKS ROCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!

bob: another story

Bob the hobo suffers from many diseases........ mild OCD, MPD, schizophrenia, delusions, anger issues ( not a disease), and sometimes he will become very depressed. When Bob gets depressed he will completely shut out the whole world. This may lead to him walking into some random persons house. He snaps out of his zone out only when the owner of that house starts hitting him with a baseball bat. We need to keep him away from our homes and our children, but at the same time we need to help him. The help bob the hobo association is what we need to join to do that. That is the H.B.T.H.A. Bobs dad is in jail and his mom is dead. Bob wants a job at burger king or a highly important law firm but so far he has not been able to get a job anywhere, HE HATES MCDONALD'S!!!!!!!!!! This is because his wife left him after a fight over which one is better, McDonald's or BURGER KING. Bob has had many pets ( all rocks ), but they died so bob gave up.

bob's mom: another story

Bob's mother was a beautiful woman but she died when bob was very young. She was smart, funny, and as i already mentioned beautiful. She died from an illness but we dont know what that illness is. :(

bob's dad: another story

Bobs dad was arrested for blowing up an empty school, stealing a camel, and eating a police officers tootsie roll. He also suffers from many of bob's diseases. His name and age are unknown.

Backhistory- Street's Version 1

Bob the Hobo was born to a very nice, pretty young woman. Unfortunately, she died soon after Bob's birth, so he never knew her very well. His father was a very well educated man, but with slightly misguided ideas. For instance, he was put in jail for blowing up an (empty) shool to save innocent children from the horrors of conformity.
Maybe his bad parenting example is why Bob has never had kids or a love life. His wife left him after a spat over which was better, McDonalds or Burger King. Bob stubbornly maintains that Burger King is better, which is good because that is the only place he can get a job nowadays.
Bob the hobo has also had several ailments since birth, including schizophrenia, mild OCD, MPD, and delusions. The OCD bit is particularly unfair because he can't get very clean living on the streets. Many people are working to get Bob a psychiatryst. You can help the cause by donating to the Save The World From Terror And Get Bob The Hobo A Psychiatrist people when they call to get donations.

The Begining

Greetings, Earthlings.
We have created this blog to share the story of Bob the hobo's life with you. We don't exactly have a definite schedule for updates, but we will not abandon this! (We think.) Please don't be rude about our documentary skizzles. It would hurt our feelings.
Until the next post,
Hobo on the Street and the amazing Automatic Delivery Subsystem