Bob the Motivational Poster

Recently Bob the Hobo took up a side job as a model for motivational posters. I myself saw one of these posters; Bob looks great for a man of 56. Especially when you consider his hobo-hood.

Although Bob is fantastic at his job, he is working for minimum wage... of 1960. So, he is being paid $1.00 an hour. And I used to wonder how modeling companies made money. I HAVE ALL THEIR SECRETS! I WILL SUCCEED AT LIFE! MWUAHAHAHA!

Continuing... Anyway, my message here is: if you ever drop out of school and become a hobo, you can ALWAYS become a model. It's not like they expect models to be smart, after all. Oh, and keep an eye out for any posters of Bob.

Bob the Hobo's BIrthday

Guess what?!?? After years of dedicated research, we (as in us 4 contributers) have finally unearthed Bob the Hobo's birthday! And, as you guessed, it's today. So, today, wish Bob a happy 56th birthday. Since Bob's depression of Johnny Appleseed, this is sure to cheer him up.

Hobo on the Street here. Make sure to donate 56 candles to your local hobo shelter. It can be your good deed of the month.

So, if you call 555-2552 and wish Bob a happy 56th birthday, Santa Clause is certain to bless your house/chimney. Thanks for your contributions and consideration.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUU!! BIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUU!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAARRR BOOOOBBB, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUUU!!!!!! ARE YOU ONE, ARE YOU TWO, (ETC) ARE YOU 56?? and you know the rest.

Some Things You Should Know

OK, so just to let all you awesome followers know, there are some notes on the sidebar. There is a column about Bob's main facts to help you understand, and because there is more than one author, also to help us not redo things and make them different. Below that is a poll asking if you pity Bob the Hobo. It is open for a very, very long time, so no pressure. Please vote! Then, there is something :)!26!:) wrote about: her other blog.

Oh, and please forgive and notify us about any mistakes in spelling, grammer, punctuation, capitalization, or anything else. Thank you for your patience and consideration.

BTW, sorry that I sound like a bathroom note by the manager/staff. For all you know, I am bathroom staff.

A FIRETRUCK STORY PART TWO

if ur a new reader this wont make since so u will have to go back quite a few posts.
but anyways...........................

i felt really bad for bob so i drove to dryden and searched for a puple firetruck........................ i did not find him. then over thanksgiving i was in new york and he was there on vacation . he broght his "house" on top of his firetruck so i walked up to him. and with a fifty foot pole and a megaphone a tapped him on the shoulder and yelled you have a firetruck...........sleep in it! he acctually listend so now bob sleeps in his puple sparkly fire truck in dryden................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. ok dryden is a real town but....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... bob the hobo is simply a made up charectar that my awesome friends made up in 5th grade.

Johnny Appleseed

Bob the Hobo does not know how to read, which is why he had to take reading lessons when he found a book lying on the street. Of course, he failed miserably. So, lets just agrees that he DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO READ AND WILL NEVER LEARN HOW TO READ! OK, so when he found the book, he was really interested. He had never seen anything so... weird! And he wanted to read it. He went house to house to see if anyone would read it to him. Obviously, know one would. I mean, if a weird hobo showed up at your door and asked you to read him a book, would you??? Probably not, unless you were a little weird upstairs. Anyway, finally he found that person who was weird upstairs, a little old granny with white hair up in a bun. Stereotypical, yes, but it does happen. She was a widow, and was lonely, so she was just happy and offered to read the book because she wanted company. The book was about Johnny Appleseed. Bob became soooo absorbed he actually listened to the whole thing without doing something Bob the Hobo-like. After the granny was done, (Miss Molasses was her name, or at least that was what Bob heard), Bob thanked her and left very fast. The poor Miss Molasses was very sad to see him go, but at least he had left her the interesting book about Johnny Appleseed. Besides, he might come back another time. Anyhow, Bob now saw Johnny as a role model, and wanted to be just like him. So, the next time he got a strawberry, he picked out all the little seeds in on the outside. He did that with, say, the next 23 strawberries he got. He probably ended up with... a LOT of seeds. You cannot make me do the math. I guesstimate, though, about 1,649 seeds. As you have guessed, he wanted to be Bobby Strawberry(seed??). Ha ha. So he went around digging up holes in peoples yards and burying one seed in each hole. People yelled at him for making holes in their yards, but he knew he was doing a good deed, so he just ignored them. But the strawberry bushes (trees??) didn't grow!!! HE got all mad and threw the rest of his seeds at the next person he saw. Then, he went and dug up all the places where he had buried the strawberry seeds. Then he went home and cried his eyes out. Poor, poor, Bob. If YOU want to make him feel better, call 555-2552 to tell him... whatever you wanna tell him to make him feel better!

abbY!!

ps any number that starts with 555 is a fake number.

What Bob did on Black Friday

Humming to himself, Bob skipped down the aisle of his local Wal-mart. Today was such a joyous day! He still had some turkey left over from the National Hobo Turkey Dinner yesterday, and lots of normal people were out at the mall for some reason.

Bob leaned over to inspect a price tag. WOW! His eyes bugged out. This price was... RIDICULOUS! What was wrong with America that they would buy  a Barbie doll for TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS! Bob pursed his lips, attempting to think hard about this problem. Slowly, the answer dawned on him.

What did all little girls do as a rite of passage as they became teenagers? Why, chop up their dolls of course. And to do that they would need a doll.

Bob beamed. Of course! He felt so proud of himself for delving into the deep, twisted pit of the female psyche. He had done what no man had done before.

Bob felt so proud of himself that he waltzed up to the bored, teenage clerk and asked if he could have a Barbie doll, no charge. He was rewarded with a sorta scared look from the clerk. As he was pondering what the clerk was trying to do, the tough, skinny, vegan security guards grabbed him from behind and kicked him out the door.

Bob was so sad, he broke down crying in front of the store. He was that places's karma: people were so freaked out by the sight of him that they gave Wal-Mart a twenty foot berth. The store went out of business soon after; no one would touch the place with a fifty foot pole, even if you had payed them (which, coincidentally, they eventually tried to do).

So in the end, Bob the Hobo won. He had ruined Black Friday for the populace.

And Bob saw what he had done and was Proud.