the bob files

THE BOB FILES

poem

have you ever seen a penguin in a bikini, hes belly is so white he isnt very tall. his bikini is so awesome like crazy coolio. it has stripes and polka dots like so wowlio!

strange cheese

new disease called scs strange cheese syndrome is very bad. make sure your cheese doesn't have any of the following qualitys or you might be at risk of scs

1. hair
2. greenes, blueness, redness, or blackness (do not worry if its purple)
3. dry and hard
4. wet and soft
5. wierd smell
6. and/or sounds like a trumpet

so ya thats bad

did you know

did you know that my name is bob the hobo?

well it is bye!

im so sorry bob!

bob i am so very sorry for not posting your newspaper recently ... the thing is i haven't been to tops recently so i couldn't receive all your great ideas but now that i have all of them I'm like drowning in them so I'm just going to post your best one to represent them all

sincerely

:)!26.

p.s. don't worry i didn't forget my name that's simply how i sign

Bob and the Snow Machine

Once, on a cold wintry day, Bob was walking around Dryden. He was not very cold in spite of wearing very little. "It's like the old days," Bob said to himself, "Romping around wearing spring-like clothes, getting strange looks." And sure enough, he was.
As he wandered the residential streets, twirling in falling snow from the trees, gawking at people in their houses like a 'stalker', and laughing maniacally. This deterred any curious passerby from asking him why the heck a middle/old aged man was acting like someone six times less his age. Then, he heard the sound. A roaring, rumbling, musical sound that sounded chimes and trumpets in his ears. He walked faster towards it. Soon he was running, running like a child two times less than the age of what he was acting like. He saw it. A snow machine, one of those strange creatures with the fountain of snow coming out of it. He screamed like a 2 year old girl (notice how fast his age decreases), tossed off his shorts and sweatshirt, and started to jump around the snow fountain like a toddler in a sprinkler.
What can we say? I'm sure that the owner of that magical machine started screaming at him.....