Monday, December 21, 2009

Bob wrote a newspaper!...................................

Bob ran into me at tops and i told him about this blog. he asked me to put his newspaper on this blog once a week. so here it is.



THE BOB FILES
(NO IT'S NOT THE BLOG)
PURPLE GIRAFFES
75 Joes went crazy obsessed with pink polka dotted Easter eggs on a lazy Sunday at 2:28 am, in a random park in upstate Ohio.purple giraffes!
WATER
Fire! Boom! " ouch my butt," screamed sylveter smith the 800th. he needs water.
Moose cheese
PIG, ALEX, SNAKE, SANTA HAT, AMERICAN EAGLE, SHOES OF SHAME, LOSER HAT,AIR MAIL IN KENTUCKY, AND AEROPOSTALE ATE A HUGE PIE. THE PIE CONTAINED MILK, COOKIES, MICE INTESTINES, HAIR, AND MOOSE CHEESE! YUCK!!!!!!

Monday, December 7, 2009

The Follower

One day Bob the Hobo was walking down the road. It was a normal day for him, but little did he know that today would change the world as he knew it forever. You wanna find out how? Read on.

As Bob strutted obliviously down the road, a small, mischevious looking child poked his head out from behind a building. He smirked to himself as he launched the water balloon at the weird old guy on the street. The child laughed out loud as the balloon connected.

Bob spun around. What was this strange liquid soaking down his back? You see, Bob had never had a shower, or gone swimming, or anything. He didn't know what water was!

The old hobo looked around wildly. He had to find out what was going on! In the name of the Petunias, he would uncover the truth!

Meanwhile the child sniggered.

However, he recieved the shock of his young life when Bob grabbed him by the scruff if his neck and hoisted him into the air. "Now say, young whippersnapper," Bob scowled at him.

The kid looked at Bob in wonder. He had never heard anyone use the word "Whippersnapper" before! Thanks to that one word, Bob was now his hero.

"Hey, old man," he said. Bob blinked.

"Yes?"

This strange child then proceded to ask Bob what his name was. Bob had never been asked that before. Beaming, he told the boy his name was Bob.

"Cool!" the kid said. "My name is Joe. So now, in honor of your awesomeness, I will call myself Bobby Joe."

The gleeful Bobby Joe ran off, leaving Bob content and confused.

Now, you may wonder how this changed the world. Well, here it is.

Recently Bob Joe tried to run for President od the US. However, he lost to the Democrats. You may even know who Babby Joe is- under a different name of course. I'll give you a hint: He is old, balding and ran with a very annoying woman who's name starts with an S. Anyway, he decided to run for Pres to honor bob the Hobo with a national holiday. So now he will not rest until he succeeds. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

bob eats his first m&m ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg so i researched more on bob the hobo after the recent discovery of his bday. I WANTED TO FIGURE OUT IF BOB THE HOBO HAD A FAVORITE CANDY AND IF YES... WHAT? SO BOB SAW A FLYER FOR M&M'S STUDY AND DROVE HIS FIRE TRUCK TO ANONYMOUS TOWN, WHERE I LIVE. HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT AN M&M WAS! I GAVE HIM THREE OBJECTS.



  1. AN M&M

  2. A PAIR OF HEADPHONES

  3. AND SOME SNOW

I TOLD HIM AN M&M WAS SOMETHING TO EAT!


of course he tried to bite the headphones, i screamed NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then i shoved the m&m in his mouth and he ran away singing, " choc---------------------olatay oh i love the sugary sweetness where in every bar there is sugar ( shoog- are ) and you might get and you might get a tiny cavitay!" to the tune of oklahoma ok ! what i forgot to check in my reseach was bobs allegeries or eating problems.......................... turns out he cant have chocalate unless he wants to hit people that dont give him chocolate with metal poles for at least the next month. so yeah from one m&m bob will surely be crazy for a month and 3 days so BEWARE BOB THE HOBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Bob the Motivational Poster

Recently Bob the Hobo took up a side job as a model for motivational posters. I myself saw one of these posters; Bob looks great for a man of 56. Especially when you consider his hobo-hood.

Although Bob is fantastic at his job, he is working for minimum wage... of 1960. So, he is being paid $1.00 an hour. And I used to wonder how modeling companies made money. I HAVE ALL THEIR SECRETS! I WILL SUCCEED AT LIFE! MWUAHAHAHA!

Continuing... Anyway, my message here is: if you ever drop out of school and become a hobo, you can ALWAYS become a model. It's not like they expect models to be smart, after all. Oh, and keep an eye out for any posters of Bob.

Bob the Hobo's BIrthday

Guess what?!?? After years of dedicated research, we (as in us 4 contributers) have finally unearthed Bob the Hobo's birthday! And, as you guessed, it's today. So, today, wish Bob a happy 56th birthday. Since Bob's depression of Johnny Appleseed, this is sure to cheer him up.

Hobo on the Street here. Make sure to donate 56 candles to your local hobo shelter. It can be your good deed of the month.

So, if you call 555-2552 and wish Bob a happy 56th birthday, Santa Clause is certain to bless your house/chimney. Thanks for your contributions and consideration.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUU!! BIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUU!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAARRR BOOOOBBB, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOUUUU!!!!!! ARE YOU ONE, ARE YOU TWO, (ETC) ARE YOU 56?? and you know the rest.

Some Things You Should Know

OK, so just to let all you awesome followers know, there are some notes on the sidebar. There is a column about Bob's main facts to help you understand, and because there is more than one author, also to help us not redo things and make them different. Below that is a poll asking if you pity Bob the Hobo. It is open for a very, very long time, so no pressure. Please vote! Then, there is something :)!26!:) wrote about: her other blog.

Oh, and please forgive and notify us about any mistakes in spelling, grammer, punctuation, capitalization, or anything else. Thank you for your patience and consideration.

BTW, sorry that I sound like a bathroom note by the manager/staff. For all you know, I am bathroom staff.

Friday, December 4, 2009

A FIRETRUCK STORY PART TWO

if ur a new reader this wont make since so u will have to go back quite a few posts.
but anyways...........................

i felt really bad for bob so i drove to dryden and searched for a puple firetruck........................ i did not find him. then over thanksgiving i was in new york and he was there on vacation . he broght his "house" on top of his firetruck so i walked up to him. and with a fifty foot pole and a megaphone a tapped him on the shoulder and yelled you have a firetruck...........sleep in it! he acctually listend so now bob sleeps in his puple sparkly fire truck in dryden................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. ok dryden is a real town but....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... bob the hobo is simply a made up charectar that my awesome friends made up in 5th grade.